Wash Your Pathik 2
by ghostdominion6
Summary: If it is dirty, you need to wash your Pathik.
1. The Plan, Barely Any Koh, and Pathik

_**WASH YOUR PATHIK: FILES**_

Teo flew on, but with Pathik hanging onto the wheel-chair, and with the fact that engines that allowed flying weren't invented yet, fuel quickly ran low. Eventually, both of them fell into the ocean, where they would never be able to neglect Toph. Pathik had yet to neglect her, and he wasn't about to miss the chance permanently. He wasn't about to die. He kicked his feet, inadvertently knocking Teo deeper into the depths of the ocean, and swam towards the surface. Luckily, the ocean was made up of salt water, which prevented it from doing the unthinkable…

Joseph Gordon sat on his bed, attempting to finish his homework. That grew too tedious, like this fanfiction is, so he went on the internet to read fanfiction stories. He stayed as far away from the Avatar category as possible, remembering what happened in the last story he starred in. Funny how clichéd his life is. Before he could click on anything, Zutara and Kataang appeared and stared at him. His computer page instantly went to the Avatar category, and the character search went to Aang and Toph. Kataang forced himself/herself to click the search button.

"No! I don't even ship any of you! NOOO!" screamed Joe as he was sucked into the computer. Zutara hit him with a burning water-whip and Kataang tied his hands up with ice handcuffs.

"This must be the author responsible for creating Taang." said Kataang.

"Probably. If he is the creator, then Taang will be urgent to save his fat ass. That is when we shall murder that _dreadful _shipping pair." declared Zutara.

"Excellent."

Joseph thought for a moment and realized that the only way he could be set free from this story was to have it flamed so much that it would be deleted. He thought back to a series of pictures he saw on Deviant Art titled The N Commandments of Avatar Fanfiction, posted by babbs. (He had to include the creator in order to prevent possible copyright issues.) The drawings told authors everything that should not be included in Avatar fanfictions. Maybe, if he could break all of the rules, no one would read this story and he would be free. Somehow, someway, he had to break the N Commandments.

_**WASH YOUR PATHIK: FILES**_

Combustion Man walked through his neighborhood, trying to avoid people who liked to make fun of his third eye. They would call him such terrible names, such as four-eyes (for some reason), Sparky Sparky Boom Man, and even Mr. Bean. Today was no different, and as Combustion Man walked on, he started getting harassed by Pipsqueak.

"HRMPH!" screamed CM, even though he couldn't talk due to never acquiring a voice actor. Pipsqueak laughed and started beating him up. On Ji observed the fight, but she just walked away slowly. CM cried, but no one helped. After 47 minutes, Pipsqueak walked away, but Combustion Man wouldn't let him get away with that beating so easily. He breathed into his nose, and the subtitles on the bottom of the screen said, "I'M A CHARGIN' MA LAZOR. I'M A FIRIN' MA LAZOR. SHOOP DA WOOP!"

A laser beam shot out of his third eye, but Pipsqueak avoided the blast. The beam shot on…

**WASH YOUR PATHIK: FILES**

Katara woke up, but found that Appa was no where to be found. Her epilogue from the last fanfiction had turned out to be non-canon. She stood up and sighed. It was only a matter of time before the Kataang and Zutara shippers start pairing her up with two idiots that she didn't care for. She had to end it all now. She jumped off of a conveniently placed cliff, prepared to die. Before she hit the ground, she landed on a flying dragon. She looked down and saw that the creature's head was that of Azula's. It seems that Azula digested herself so much, that she turned into a mutant hybrid.

"SHADOW CLONE JITSU!" shouted Azula, showing the laziness of the author as this was the only thing she said in the first story. She exploded and Katara was propelled towards the sky. She landed back on the cliff and was about to jump off again, but she tripped on the Painted Lady and was knocked unconscious. Momo barged into the scene in order to prevent this story from moving on. An angry Maiko shipper who was out of place ran by, but their head imploded, and Momo flew away.

WASH YOUR PATHIK: FILES

An unknown shipping pair journeyed across the internet and found a dictionary translator. This shipping pair was determined to help Joseph escape, and terrible grammar may just help. The pair translated part of a previous fanfiction into a different language and translated it back to English. This is the result:

KOH his " House " above tree; In justice internal it sat in circumference and it sighed; There was being a light reasoning fortune dream where he him who authorization the eminent one Sasuke faces steals only before some time. KOH will have the face of that oneself and when going until, it was a dream which is perfect. In compliance with him it will be wrong though and it respects impossibility is, shout stroke it happened. He later song did in the market which is to the barium and some chocolate ice cream which buys Se going, in the cartoon network it sees Naruto rebroadcasting while it, that time since then, he ate. This he was the method to which the period KOH of off duty sends a summer halfway his work from his acting career. It was easy for the weight to see the [etunci how much. If you this Toph the eye will be distant together and the grudge which is not, so meantime it is different but you fanfiction, under boil you will not be reading. But this talk is not KOH [ey kwanhaye intelligence. Frankly, it is what [ey kwanhaye intelligence is not.

Deep in the Spirit World, Koh looked all around his "tree-house." He could've sworn that he heard his name spoken in a paragraph that was translated from the Korean language. He shrugged it off, even though he has no shoulders, and he continued eating chocolate ice-cream, as his ending was non-canon.

Joseph had given up hope as the shipping pairs dragged him closer to Taang's domain. If something wasn't done soon, he and a shipping pair would probably be dead. Yep, his life sure is clichéd.

**TOO BEE CONTINUDE WIT' MORE KOH AND DIFFERENT TITLES…**

Pathik made it out of the ocean and swam to the nearest island, but he was swallowed by a Koi fish before he reached land.

wash your pathik: files


	2. Space, missions, and Pathik

**_WASH YOUR PATHIK: EPISODE 2_**

Pathik fell down the Koi fish's throat, heading straight for the stomach acid. Something caught him just in time, though, and he was carried out of the Koi fish. Pathik looked up and saw Haru, who must've survived the first story.

"Prepare to die!" Haru shouted. Haru's eyes had disappeared, and he thought Pathik was Joseph. Haru threw a rock at Pathik, but due to his newly-acquired blindness, he missed completely and knocked himself into the ocean. Pathik made it back to land, but was knocked unconscious by a Mary Sue, who had the ability to bend darkness, lightning, and minds. Pathik woke up five hours later and found himself in the domain of a shipping pair. The pair had a dictionary translator up on their computer, and they hid under a red cloak. It showed Pathik a rocket ship, and intelligence data that said Toph and Ghostdominion6 were on a space station. The shipping pair wanted Pathik to capture Ghostdominion6 and Toph in order to interrogate them. Pathik was hauled into the rocket, which shouldn't have existed in that time, and the rocket blasted off.

The door to Taang's domain was blown open, and Joseph was thrown in. He was picked up again, and, because this story needs bad grammar, the sh1pp1ng p41rs draggareded hims. Well, at least this story sucked so far. It has bad grammar, bad spelling, a bad plot line, fillerish paragraphs, reality-bending elements, and it was soon going to include the author in the story. This story would have to be removed sooner or later.

"Taang has to be in here." Zutara told themselves. They had arrived at a large door that had the symbol of Taang; a headband with an arrow in the middle. Kataang water-whipped the door open and Zutara shot watery flames of death into the room. They hit a figure, and Joseph heard a thud. Taang had been knocked unconscious, and Joe was now going to succumb to the same fate. Cliché storylines are crap.

**_wash your pathik: episode 2_**

Koh thought he was free. He was a minor character in the first chapter. He died in an epilogue in the first story, but pesky shipping pairs had made his ending non-canon. Well, at least he was alive. Koh walked out of his "tree house" and searched for Zutara and Kataang. He could've found them and ended this whole story and any of its possible sequels, but he was disturbed by voices. He looked behind him and saw Lo and Li. They were with a bunch of old and scary looking shippers.

"Uh, who are you?" asked Koh in confusion, whether that was possible or not.

"Us? We are the** 'ZANY ORTHODONTAL PARENT HELPERS!'**" shouted every man and every Lo and Li in unison. "Our mission is to aid our leader in becoming canon. We must destroy every other shipping pair, and, as it seems Koh, you are a Taang shipper. You must die as well." The Zany Orthodontal Parent Helpers prepared to fight the Facestealer, even though 'orthodontal' doesn't seem to be an actual word.

"It's not my fault that I am a Taang shipper. I..," but there was no point in trying to reason with these creepy semi-human beings. One, these people were insane, or, as they put it, _zany._ Also, a new paragraph was approaching.

**wash your pathik: episode 2**

The shoop da woop LAZOR shot on. It almost collided with numerous objects and people, such as the Blue Spirit, who had managed to clean up his guts; the newly-revived Ty Lee, and even the fanon Girl in the Iceberg. Still, it continued on, into the next chapters.

Gnaa, another airbender, decided that he wanted to help in destroying this fanfiction. By simply appearing, he had destroyed the timeline of the actual canon series. Excellent.

Aang was out searching for a girl, due to him being a "player." Toph had gone missing, and Katara was in love with (name withheld). Something hit him on the head, knocking him unconscious though. It was the band _Counting Crows_. They started singing Accidentally in Love and Big Yellow Taxi, until they were kicked out of this fanfiction. The door for guest celebrities remained open, though…

wash your pathik: episode 2 

The shipping pair witnessed Guru Pathik launch into space, and went back to its computer. Its henchmen should be taking care of Koh right about now. It found the dictionary translator again and translated another section from an earlier story:

„I DREAM OF RED CHRISTMAS! The Santa Claus shouted on cornymanier. From nowhere, stootte MAI on the treden and the Santa Claus encountered. Moved her is reverse directly below the treden is thrown, moving her to break its neck. The Santa Claus looked back only five seconds, but that gave time enough to Sokka. He put and beat ahead Santa Claus in the down-stream cutwater in functioning. The Santa Claus lost its remainder and rolled the stone penstone pen down. Heel-oud-vet-mens let go of the gun, which took Sokka. The Santa Claus barged traffic-jam the treden and burst out to siblings. They threw themselves from the manner, and the Santa Claus came in a large window at the end of the attic in collision.

„SAY HELLO TO MY SMALL FRIEND! screamed Sokka. He originated the gun and the Santa Claus were destroyed from the window. He fell to the ground and kept to exist on.

„Lively Christmas, and have also a happy new year. Sokka smirked.

„YOU weet, Sokka it, were possible you a couple deadly references of the weapon in that declaration have put. Aforesaid cat macaw.

„Yes. you, uh? make up requested Sokka want.

„Certain. cat macaw answered. They kept each other and started French kissing. Sokka had made already it to first basis with its sister. The dog!

Joseph woke up and found himself being freed by Taang.

"Get up. We don't have much time." The shipping pair said. Joe got up and they both ran for the closest door. It opened, and they ran down a thin hallway. There were many windows, but none of them were opened. They came to another door, but found that it was locked. Taang walked towards a window and found a button. They pressed it, and the window opened. Instantly, sunlight poured in.

"Ah! I'm BLIND!" screamed Taang. They were now as blind as Toph. But, if Toph is part of Taang, wouldn't they be blind anyways?

Joe looked away from the sun, but wondered how the rays were so powerful. He found another window that was pointing away from the sun, and opened it. Instead of sky, he saw his home. Earth. For some reason, he and Taang had been brought into space. This ship that they were in contained gravity, which explained why they weren't floating around. This cliché storyline was destined to end in tragedy though. And that would come sooner than he would think.

**TOO BE CONTINUUD WITH LAST CHAPTER(?) AND MORE DEATHS.**

The space shuttle landed in some large space station, and Pathik found himself in a storage room. He knew his mission…

wash your pathik: episode 2


	3. The Escape, Death, and Pathik

**_WASH YOUR PATHIK: DARK CRUSADE_**

Guru Pathik ran through the gravity-controlled space station. Ghostdominion6 was located in the computer room, which was in the middle of the whole station. Essentially, Pathik had to "Find TEH COMPUTEER ROOM!"

Eventually, he came to a large white room, full of dining equipment. Pathik stepped forward, when suddenly, he started to float. The gravity had been turned off. It seems that a Mary Sue character knew how to gravitybend. Fortunately, they went "kaboom." Pathik finally got used to zero-gravity, and he leaped forward. Unfortunately, so did the person following him.

Joseph and Taang had started to float, and they found it hard to control their movements. Unlike Pathik, they never gained total control. They just floated there for a good 47 minutes. Eventually, the locked door opened and Zutara and Kataang hovered in.

"So, we knocked you unconscious, tied you up and locked you away, and even kept you under heavy surveillance, yet you still managed to escape, open the windows that allow the sun to melt the insides of this station, and turn off the gravity," ranted Zutara.

"Actually, we had nothing to do with the gravity." said Joseph.

"That doesn't matter. Now, before our leader gets here and kills you, you must answer this question: Why did you create Taang? I mean, there is absolutely no way for them to become canon. Everyone knows that my ship has sailed." said Kataang. Zutara turned their head towards Kataang. They did not look too happy.

"What do you mean YOUR ship has sailed. If anything, I will become canon. All of the evidence supporting you is solely intended to make your shippers happy. The creators want everyone to have something to be happy about, even though I will become canon." Zutara replied.

"I don't like your tone."

"I don't like your face."

Kataang lashed out at Zutara, but failed to remember that there was no gravity. Kataang started to spin in a circle, and Zutara laughed like crazy. Joseph just stared, and Taang had fallen unconscious due to the pain of having their eyes burned out. Joseph managed to grab hold of Taang, and he slowly floated out of the newly opened door. Zutara and Kataang paid no attention to them. They continued fighting for another five minutes, until they realized they had been distracted. They chased after the two idiots.

Meanwhile, the mysterious shipping pair teleported to the computer room. They feared that Pathik wouldn't get the job done. They had brought one last dictionary translated story segment:

Pathik has rotated, and saw Ghostdominion6. It has arrested the hammer which forbids. Ghostdominion6, in the operation in the gravity zero strength, has accelerated skilled forward and with Pathik balanç. Lowers the head with stridees forward. An impact not function and Ghostdominion6 fashion another time. Pathik backward jumped has stopped, and its aggressor followed. Pathik the alcangou window and its hand's schwob in the keyboard key, opens it. Ghostdominion6 strangles the master of great learning and integrity and that start f it is, when it has forced the keyboard key. Sun's luminous light fulled direct station. Ghostdomionion6 great shout for in the pain and Pathik which moves out in the caper. There SHOOP the registou region and direct Pathik attack to WOOP LUZ directamente the LAZOR ray knöchernen backward stop EN in it. Ghostdominion6 has been burnt completely region nnt and the Pathik acceleration space station. Massive is a. falls. Is this master of great learning and integrity its extremity, if the gate, is opened to visitor's famousnesses, is closed. But is not its in October blue color, that maintenance, gave it to call, the Pathik momentânea ability had the skin, that metal with one education's method, was impossible to melt. It has given the form it for the atmosphere, and has filled it with the Earth in the sea.  
Esguinchar. Vapor. It wields in its eye, then their chicoteiam. The day light, that makes the Jin'gang quarry water. It washed in the land in the sea water sea; Support, it started. Zoph adopts now which in this fanfiction, but wässerte does not have.  
Master of great learning and integrity Pathik backward is stops.

Hopefully, all of this bad grammar would end this story. That was when phase two of the plan would begin. Ghostdominion6 and Toph weren't in the room, though. Where the hell were they?

**WASH YOUR PATHIK: DARK CRUSADE**

Koh jumped out of the way as the **ZANY ORTHODONTAL PARENT HELPERS** attacked. Lo and Li shot themselves at the Facestealer, but he managed to take both of their faces. Since they were ugly, though, he got rid of them.

"He killed our semi-leaders. What do we do?" asked a random guy who looked like Gandalf the White.

"Uh we wait for another paragraph, which will give us enough time to regroup." said some guy resembling Strong Bad. A new paragraph wasn't coming, though, due to this being a semi-important event.

"Ah, screw this. Let's head back to our leader. They should be killing Ghostdominion6 right about now. Oh, and we should just tie this Facestealer in a net. We can take him to our leader." said another guy, who resembled Tom Cruise. He pressed a button and Koh was captured in a net.

"Fine, you got me. So, who is your leader?" asked Koh.

"Isn't it easy? Our organization name is formed from their name."

**wash your pathik: dark crusade**

Shoop da woop lazor beams can survive the atmosphere. In fact, they can travel through 47 galaxies without weakening. The sun had managed to melt a hallway in the space station, and the laser entered. The zero-gravity had a strange effect on the laser, which enabled it to maneuver past any obstacles. It found its way to a dining room, where two figures were fighting…

This fanfiction was falling apart. Mary Sues had taken over, and everyone used elements not included in the traditional four elements. The N Commandments had been completely disobeyed. Everyone was OOC, and the main characters were no longer important. Aang was knocked unconscious by the _Counting Crows_, Katara was probably unconscious, and Sokka died in the first story. These characters were now less important than Toph. To make events worse, Spongebob characters had invaded this fanfiction, due to the power Nickelodeon had given them. Hell had been unleashed, but was this what Joseph really wanted?

**wash your pathik: dark crusade **

Joseph carried Taang through many rooms. After a while, they came upon a figure that was guarding the door to the computer room.

"Hey, Fat Toes." Toph smirked.

"Why the hell are you here?" asked Joseph.

"I'm not completely sure. Who's that person?"

"This is Taang. They fell unconscious. Their eyes were burnt out or something. Can you do anything?"

"I'll try." Joseph handed Taang to Toph. Almost instantly, Taang became conscious again.

"What happened?" Taang asked. Before anyone could answer, a wall burst open, and Zutara and Kataang stepped inside.

"There you are!" They shouted. Both of the shipping pairs attacked, but a wall of flame defended them. Everyone turned around and saw a figure wearing a red cloak. It had emerged from the computer room.

"Welcome, fellow shipping pairs. Ah, hello Toph. How is Ghostdominion6's favorite character doing? Do you happen to know where he is right now? Is Pathik dead yet?" the figure said.

"Wait. You want Pathik dead?" Toph asked.

"Of course. I sent him up here in order for Ghostdominion6 to kill him. I also have been supplying this fanfiction with bad grammar. That way, it will never be read, and it will be deleted. I will be able to rule. I…" The door to the computer room opened and a bunch of scary-looking shippers entered. They carried a net, and in the net was Koh the Facestealer.

"Commander Zoph, we have captured the avid Taang shipper." said a man that looked like Jason Isaacs, who has been absent from this fanfiction.

"Excellent." said the figure. In cliché fashion, the cloak flew away, revealing the shipping pair, Zoph.

"Wait a minute. Aren't you normally called Toko?" asked Koh.

"Well, uh…. shut up. No one asked you for your input. Anyways, I want you to kill these shipping pairs," Zoph told the** ZANY ORTHODONTAL PARENT HELPERS**.

"Yes, sir! ZOPH IS POWER!" the Zoph shippers shouted. They started attacking Zutara and Kataang. Joseph, Taang, and Toph started chasing Zoph. Zoph ran until they came to the hallway that had been disintegrated by the sun. The heat was intense.

"You can't run forever, Zoph." shouted Joseph, who secretly wondered how they heard each other in space, when in reality, there would be no sound.

"True, but can you reach me? I can survive great heat, but the same can't be said for you." Zoph bragged.

An explosion sounded, and more of the hallway disintegrated. Taang called for the other two.

"Guys, you need to get out of here. I'll take care of this ass." Taang said. They then ran off towards Zoph.

That was the last time they ever heard Taang speak.

Taang shot a rock of air at Zoph, but they avoided it. Zoph then shot a 'boiling rock' at Taang, which hit them directly in the head due to their blindness. One more blast sent Taang spiraling out of the space station. They hovered closer to the sun and eventually, they burned and ceased to exist.

"TAANG!!!" cried Joseph. But there was no hope. Taang was gone. The Taang shippers reading this fanfiction, if anyone is reading at all, shouted at the author upon reading this.

"It's too late. We have to move!" shouted Toph. She led Joseph out of the destroyed hallway, and they ran past the now unconscious Zutara and Kataang. Everything had gone wrong. Zoph had won. They found a portal and teleported back to Earth, and out of this fanfiction.

**TO BE CONTINUED IN THE NEXT STORY, ALONG WITH MORE IDIOTIC FILLER PARAGRAPHS…**

Pathik turned around and saw Ghostdominion6. He was holding a ban-hammer. Ghostdominion6, being adept at maneuvering in zero gravity, propelled forward and swung at Pathik. He ducked, and kicked forward. The kick had no effect, and Ghostdominion6 swung again. Pathik jumped backwards and his attacker followed. Pathik reached a window, and his hand hovered over the button that would open it. Ghostdominion6 started choking the guru, and that was when he pressed the button. Instantly, the sun's bright light filled the station. Ghostdomionion6 cried out in pain, and Pathik jumped away. Instantly, the SHOOP DA WOOP LAZOR BEAM entered the room and hit Pathik directly on his bony back. Ghostdominion6 was blown out of the room, and Pathik was propelled out of the space station. He fell towards the Earth. This would've been the end of the guru if the door open to guest celebrities was closed. Instead, _Blue October_, who was performing Calling You, gave Pathik the momentary ability of having skin made out of metal that could never melt. He made it through the atmosphere and landed in the ocean.

A splash. Steam. Waves lashing at his eyes. Sunlight turning the water into diamonds. He was stranded in an ocean of salt water; back where he started. Zoph had now taken over this fanfiction- but that didn't matter.

Guru Pathik was back.

wash your pathik: dark crusade


End file.
